Doing Laundry with Stupid Boy!

So today is Sunday… Funday?  Probably not!  I am sitting in the Laundromat on 3^rd street in Bloomington, I chose this one because it has free WiFi.  It is a small little place that has a few machines.  I forgot how expensive it was to do laundry on your own.  It is always better to have your mother do it, LOL.  

The past couple of days I actually went out and did something.  Friday night, in an effort to curb my Social Anxiety, I went to Uncle E’s…alone.  I had to text my friends back home because, as I told them, I was shaking like a “Virgin at a gang bang”.  I did talk to some people, I actually saw someone from South Bend.  They actually remembered me before I remembered them.   It was a little experiment for myself to see if I could get it together and not actually panic and leave. 

I find it funny how all day long I can talk to the most random people, listen to their stories, and give guidance (hopefully); yet at the same time have an issue with being alone in a Gay bar.  These are my people.  I should be in my element there, alas, I am not.

I know I have referred to it a couple of times, but, I think a major part of my anxiety is my own insecurities and the cannibalistic gay culture that we have.   I actually have been talking to some of the people I meet here about that.   Even someone who our culture would say is attractive has the same insecurities that I do.  Isn’t that funny?  I guess that just goes to show that sometimes, that social anxiety is in the eye of the beholder.  So I overcame that evening with great success!  I am very happy for myself because that is a step in the right direction. 

Anyway, I want to tell you about this dream I had last night.  In this dream I was driving drunk and hit and killed someone.  Who happened to be from Australia; for some reason I had to go to Australia after that.  I remember feeling this complete sense of guilt and dread.  It was the weirdest thing.  Right before I woke up, I was concerned about making sure that my driver’s license wasn’t going to be revoked.  Not that I might end up in jail, just that I had a driver’s license. 

Then things got really strange.  I was at a Speedway gas station, and I could see this person that I know about to get beat with a bat in the head.  So I charged the two people with my car and the guy started chasing my car.  Well, because of the Carwash I was trapped and then he started shooting. (Rude!)  All the while the employees of said Speedway didn’t even notice.  Then it turned into a scene from “Set It Off”, and Queen Latifah came round the corner and saved me. 

I don’t know what I did to get that dream?  I have not recollection of ever having a bad dream in my life; so this one goes down as the first.  I think the moral of the story is Don’t Drink and Drive to Australia, but if you save someone’s life at a Speedway, Queen Latifah will help you set it off. 

It is simply amazing what our subconscious will put together at night.  I can pick out some of the things out of that dream.  Like for instance, I have family who live in Australia and a friend of my date my cousin who moved here.  Well, I saw that friend last night, that explains that.  The whole bat thing comes from the controversy surrounding the Observer.  (See previous post) Finally, someone’s Facebook status was about “Set it Off” the other day; other then that I have no clue.   You got any insight?

Well that’s my 578 words  for today.  I hope you all have a good week, wish me luck….I start my job tomorrow.

XOXO,

Stupid Boi

Stupid Boi's First Week in Bloomington, Indiana

Well this has been a week. I have moved to Bloomington, and apparently the world is coming to an end. I am currently borrowing internet from various locations. I have to set up my internet connection for my apartment. Until then I will post from various locations.

I want to talk about a couple of things in this post. First off, I have only 4 channels. All of which is PBS. I have the IU version of PBS, then PBS Create, PBS World and V (A Spanish channel). This has given me a new found appreciation for Public Broadcasting; if you have never watch check it out. (Sesame Street comes on at like 8 ish)

This city is full of one way streets. I have to drive down one street passed my apartment then turn and then turn again to get home. This is a hassle. I start work on Monday at 7:30 am, which is the day of my orientation. I have only met a few people that I will be working with. I love the idea of my new job and so I know that I will love the position.

So on to more important world events. Let me take a moment to talk about Haiti. What a tragedy. I hope that the world powers do what they are planning to do. I have to applaud President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton for their prompt response. It is my belief that to be a “World Power”, we must also be benevolent to those in need.

Since I only have limited access to the media, I have not had much exposure. I did watch Charlie Rose this evening on PBS World. He really did a great job putting things in perspective for me. Anderson Cooper was reporting from Haiti and talked about the devastation and how difficult it was to get supplies to those who need it. Rose also had a member of “Doctor’s Without Borders” and “Unicef”, both of which had stated that they had been in Haiti for a while providing services prior to the earthquake.

They both made some great points. Both of the organization’s buildings and facilities have been destroyed. The one thing that really stuck out for me was the lady from Unicef said that it is important to make sure that they have the funding to protect the children who are lost or orphaned by the earthquake. People will take advantage of this and “traffic” these children into slavery or sex trade. If you have the resources please help these people. The most important things we can do is offer them unrestricted funds to care for whatever they need.

On to something closer to home… Apparently on January 13, 2010 “The Observer” a newspaper from the University of Notre Dame ran a cartoon that was incredibly offensive. The language was something along the lines of “How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A Baseball Bat.” Hello! I know ND’s stance on GLBTQ issues but that went toooooooooooooooo Far. Tonight a friend called me to tell me that apparently the original punch-line was “AIDS”. I don’t know how accurate that is…BUT FOR REAL? So much for HIGHER EDUCATION. I cannot believe as a Gay man that this is still going on. Calling for Violence against the GLBTQ community is so un-Catholic. I feel like I left South Bend and not even a week later ND acted a hot mess. Don’t make me come up there!

Other then that life is wonderful. I hope you all have a great weekend…I am gonna try! New City, same old Stupid Boi….let’s see what happens!

XOXO,
Stupid Boi

To Megan, Love Stupid Boi

Dear Megan,

Since you died I haven’t really thought about it. When I got the message from Thaddeus I didn’t know what to do. At the time I was on tour and couldn’t really think about things. Today however is different!

Something told me to look thorough old pictures on Facebook. Not that I haven’t seen them a million times before, today was different. I finally came to terms with the fact that you are gone. I miss you so much!

You were my very first friend in Iowa City. I remember when I started working at Rue 21 and you were my manager. That was the beginning of everything. We were together everyday. You were there when things got really tough and there to make me laugh with all the crazy things we did.

I sat here thinking about all the times that we stayed up at night and laughed, the night that someone through the bottle at your foot and you had the paramedics call me to take you to the hospital at 3 am. That blood stain was there until the day I sold that car…LOL. The time we escaped to Cornell to eat pizza and walk the solar system. All the nights we stood in the alley outside of Studio and ran down to Pizza on Dubuque.
I looked at all the old Facebook messages that you sent me to come back soon. I have tons of pictures of you and I. I have all the memories in my heart! I finally cried today. I realized that I have lost not only a good friend, but a piece of my heart.

I miss you sooooo much!

XOXO,

Patricio!

Stupid Boi starts a new Adventure.

As we move into the New Year, I resolve to be more proactive in keeping my blog alive. I am also moving to a new city that will bring new and exciting things. So I want to drop you all a line and let you know, I haven’t forgotten about you. I have been updating the Project FIERCE blog and neglecting my own.

So Stupid Boi is off on a new adventure. Bloomington, Indiana. This is where I will start over. Hit the reset button if you will. I will plan on making 2010 a great year chalk full of things that are only in my imagination.

This year I will be going places. The Gay Man’s Health Summit is this year….I have to get into shape for that, cause it is in Florida. I have to have runway ready!

Well Hope the New Year finds you in good health, better company, and with new adventures.

XOXO,

Stupid Boi

An Open Letter to my Facebook Friends List...Love Stupid Boi

I feel so inspired today! I am smiling and happy, it is Friday and we are going into a three day weekend. That is not the source of my inspiration. The source of my inspiration is my friends list of Facebook. It is truly a diverse cast of characters! So I am writing to thank some people on there!

To my Gay Brothers:
Thank you for being Beautiful and Unique! You have truly empowered, inspired, and lifted me. Without you my world would be dull and grey. Being Gay is a true blessing! I feel so honored to count myself among the ranks of a group of people who can rise above the hate and pain, and find love, where love is overdue. Please love each other! I just hope we stop turning in onto each other based on appearance. WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL! We come in all different shapes, sizes, and flavors! While Vanilla is great sometimes you just want to taste the Pasticcio to find out if you like it. Just take a sample of all the flavors our community has to offer!

To my Lesbian Sisters:
Thank you for being the care takers of our community. For holding us up as we struggled against the beast of this Pandemic. Thank you for standing beside us and fighting with us. Without you and your amazing strength we would not be able to rise above the tides that try to hold us back. My wish for you is that you continue to show strength in the face of adversity. Someone needs to keep us bois in line…lol!

To my Bisexual Brothers & Sisters:
I have not forgotten about you! I truly appreciate you for staying with the community! I know that sometimes it is hard to feel that you are apart of the Rainbow Alphabet; but we are working to change that. You have show amazing courage of conviction when it comes to your staying power. Thank you for helping fight for our rights. I promise that I will continue to make sure that there is Bi-Visibility! I am sorry for those of us who have made the comments or remarks. I welcome you all into my community! Love is Love is Love! Even if that love is straight, LOL.

To my Transgender, Queer, Two Spirited, Intersex, and other wise inclined Family:
I know it is sometimes hard to see yourself as a part of our community. I am truly sorry for that. However, YOU ARE AMAZING PEOPLE! To have the strength to say, “I am who I am, Love me!” is amazing! I have learned so much from you! I learned to love myself. It is simply amazing to feel the warmth of your community. Please continue to pave the road to equality! You are a part of my community, I love you and I will continue to fight hard!

Straight Brother and Sisters:
I know you’re there…I will find you…lol! I want to thank those of you who stand with my community. It is great to have you as a part of our extended family. It is okay that you are not gay…we still love you! I have found so many allies in your community. Those people who truly just want equality for all. A very good friend of mine, who I love, told me I don’t agree with you but I love you just the same. That is an act of revolution! To love in the face of disagreement. You are all beautiful as well! Thank you.

To all of my Brothers & Sisters in the Fight Against HIV/AIDS:
What can I say to you? WOW! You have changed the World! Really you have! You have mobilized communities, forced Governments to take action, and made the world look! AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING! Don’t forget that! I know the road is rough, believe me, the road is rough. Money is tight, politics get in the way. Just remember where we came from! Just don’t forget those we have lost and remember that that tally mark is a person!
I heard someone say “if your sick of fight then sit the fuck down!” I agree and disagree. Some of us have been fighting so long that it is hard, take a break but never give up. I know that there are not millions of people knocking at our door to take over! Just have a seat; I will pick up the slack, because if I need a break I know you will be there! Never Pass the Torch, just light someone else’s!

If you feel I left you out I am sorry, but you are in there somewhere. I know it looks as though I forgot my family, but I haven’t because at the end of the day, no matter what was said or done, family is family and will be there for me.

That is what I wanted to share with the world today. Thanks for reading!

XOXO,
Stupid Boi