Stupid Boi Returns...again!

Hi There!

Remember me? Sorry it has been soooooo long since I last wrote anything.   Things are a lot different for me now.  In Feb I went through, what can only be described as, a mental break.  It was a long road to recover.  I also was diagnosed with Celiac disease and have lost 80lbs.  I left Facebook, for now and really haven't gone out much.

That is pretty much it in a nutshell.  Recently, I have learned that people cannot and will not dictate my happiness.  I have to achieve that on my own.  So, I set out on an Adventure to make this life more exciting and happy.

In true Stupid Boi form, I have an obsession with this boy.  (not a crazy, I wanna here you breath through your window type)  Just like I really wonder what this person in like.  I don't actually know this person at all, other than what I see on my work's Facebook account.  (which I obviously can't use to make the connection and wouldn't)

He isn't really that much my type.  Although there is something alluring about him.  Not that he posts a lot or says anything profound; there is just this weird draw I have to him.  I am not really sure what it is.  What I do know is that he is an art student, probably in photography. (there is an album called school work with pictures).  Yes, I Facebook stalk him when I have the chance too.

It's just a really weird thing for me.  I have never spoken to him or seen him (in person).  I don't even know if we have mutual friends. (not that I would ask them to introduce me, because then that makes it really creepy.) I just know that I am drawn to his photos and profile.  I am not sure what exactly caught my eye.  I am rambling on, sorry.

I just wonder if it would be one of those situations where I would meet him and he would turn out to be someone that I totally wouldn't get along with.  On the other hand, I could meet him and he could be the person I imagine him to be. Maybe I'll never know or maybe it is too much Felicity on Netfix.  Or MAYBE this is just one of those Craigslist Missed connections that never gets reconciled.

Either way you'll being here more from me coming soon.

XOXO,
Stupid Boi

Eat Right, Stupid Boi!

Over the next couple of months I will be merging Flirt with Stupid Boi and the Adventures of Stupid Boi…why? Well, because, I am moving on to a new blog called “Eat Right! Stupid Boi” What is it about you ask? Ah…really do I need to explain that?

I just read a book called Life Force Energy. I have had this book for a while, but recently read it. I actually read it in one sitting! It makes a lot of sense. It is based on a Raw Food way of life. It explains that there are so many things that we put into our body that affect everything. It affects not only our health, but our mental state.

Since most of you know that I have General Anxiety Disorder (GAD); I wanted to try something like this so that I wouldn’t have to spend a lifetime on pills. To me, Western Medicine is something that you should use as a last resort! I do believe in Preventive Medicine is key to a health long life. There are so many things that go into Preventive Medicine though. Preventive Medicine is like maintenance on your car. If you get your oil changed and check the fluids, etc. your car will last you a long time.

This is just an effort to change the way I live. I really want to live a healthier and more productive life. I really think that this will help me achieve thing. I encourage you to read the book. I don’t want anyone to change the way they live or anything like that. I am changing who I am and brining you along for the ride.

I really hope that you will join me in this little adventure! (by reading and commenting) I would love to give a shout out to whoever it is in Russia that keeps reading the blog!


XOXO,
Stupid Boi

Stupid Boi held Captive!

As some of you may know, I am in Chicago for training. I have to say that it is possible one of the better trainings I have been too. But, I am not talking about that.

I was in the elevator today and I look up and there is a small screen displaying different things; poems from 5th graders at local elementary schools, ads, little useless facts. (i.e. Did you know that the dye used to make things green is really toxic to the environment. So much for going Green, Huh!) I digress. I noticed that the company put a little saying across the bottom that says “you are watching captive network”.

So, you know I am not one of the great philosophers of our time…I mean I am no Margret Cho…but, I try. I thought about this on my way up the elevator. We are captive most of our lives. Yes, we have the freedom of thought, but how many of you actually think outside the box?

I run into a lot of problems with this. I do not believe that “Public Health Model” is in fact the most effective model. I think it falls into the category of what’s good for the gander is good for the goose. This is simply not true. I do understand that our hands are often tied by government, etc. This brings me back to my point! We are held captive by prevailing thought and not really evidence based rationale.

Even with the evidence based rationale, we are captive to show our numbers in the way they want us too. I would love to sit back and apply for a grant and be able to bring in the one person whose life was changed because of the work we did. That just wouldn’t work. WHY? Because we have to disseminate money to the people who are make the “Biggest” impact on the “Largest” group of people. (Utilitarianism in the most basic form)

Let us take for instance, Greenpeace and Mister Splashy Pants. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mister_Splashy_Pants) The whole story boils down to showing that one whale can change the lives of millions of other whales. Simply by personifying one creature Greenpeace created real social change in Japan.

One human can change the lives of millions by having a unique thought. Creating that thought is something we do all the time. It takes action to make that thought valuable in the eyes of the community. Someone, thought about the public health model, now it is widely accepted by most everyone in the U.S. and dare I say the world. (Except me) There is a model for everything.

Taking the HIV Crisis with the public health model, probably went a little something like this: (according to the Centers for Disease Control)

1)Define the Problem: Gays are dying, Junkies are dying…HIV Virus Discovered.
2)Identify risk and protective factors: Sex, Sharing Needles/ Abstain, use condoms, needle exchange.
3)Develop and Test prevention strategies: Create a test, create a rapid test, implement testing, and define effective behavioral interventions.
4)Assure widespread adoption: Condom use=safer sex, using clean needles=less risk of HIV transmission,
5)Create Policy: Make the schools teach Abstinence only education, create laws that make it illegal to carry needles….WAIT WHA?

Now, I know that this is a VERY OVER SIMPLIFIED VERSION of this model, and there are other great programs out there that DO make a difference. It is just an illustration of how we can become captive to a process. That captivity stops us from being…excuse the catch phrase…Innovative.

Innovation has to come at a price. It comes with the inability to truly be free, unless there is some private funding out there that is willing to give it a chance! (but even then you have to prove it works based on standards set by “society”) Something I learned today; sometimes it takes a captive audience to get your point across!

XOXO,
Stupid Boi

Stupid Boi in the Pitts!

I am Super EXCITED! I received a scholarship to the Microbicides Conference in May! It will be held in Pittsburgh, PA. I am really happy to get to go!

If you don’t know what that is:

http://www.microbicides2010.org/

http://www.global-campaign.org/

http://www.rectalmicrobicides.org/advocates.php (also in the side bar)


There is ton of information on these sites. Microbicides are a new intervention that is being test to see if it is effective against transmitting HIV. New, effective interventions mean that more people will have more options for protection. The more options the less transmission is the hope!

Even if you don’t care you should just be happy that I get to go and learn all of the new and exciting things going on in the world of HIV prevention.
YAY,

Stupid Boi

Stupid Boi and Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals

I just came back from the traveling exhibit “Nazi Persecution of Homosexuals 1933-1945”. This was at the Indiana Memorial Union on IU’s campus. It consists of some panels that discuss the persecution of the Male homosexual. Lesbians we often safe because of the place of Germen women in society and the fact that they could still bare children. This was very eye opening! If we as modern gay men could only imagine what it was like to treated like common criminals. Rounded up, and forced to wear our sexuality on our sleeves. Not only to be forced into camps with other prisoner but to be at the bottom of that prison system.

As for the Alternative, forced to remain hidden within our own lives, no community, no pride, no gay bars. I have heard many people compare the struggle of the gay American to that of other minority groups. I agree and disagree with those statements. While there are some similarities, GLBT people in the US have never endured the type of torture that our German brothers have. We were never forced to live in squalor in the fear that everyday could be the day we die.

I know this post isn’t going to be popular, but I have to say, I am grateful for all of the things I have. I may not have all the rights to marriage, and may be treated like a second class citizen; I don’t fear death everyday! I don’t have to feel like I have to make sure that I am dressed a certain way, or act a certain way just so that the SS troops won’t pick me up. I am not forced to leave my home, my country, my family, to endure the physical, mental, and sexual torture that these men and women endured.

The one thing that I learned today is that the Nazi’s didn’t actually make up any laws to carry out this unprecedented act of violence against Homosexuals. Paragraph (§) 175 was actually enacted in the late 20’s and was not repealed until the 90’s. This is a far cry from what we view Germany as today.
I am really glad that I saw this exhibit. It moved me to learn more not only about my racial/ethnic heritage but my sexual one as well.

If you want more information about the exhibit check out www.ushmm.org.

Doing Laundry with Stupid Boy!

So today is Sunday… Funday?  Probably not!  I am sitting in the Laundromat on 3^rd street in Bloomington, I chose this one because it has free WiFi.  It is a small little place that has a few machines.  I forgot how expensive it was to do laundry on your own.  It is always better to have your mother do it, LOL.  

The past couple of days I actually went out and did something.  Friday night, in an effort to curb my Social Anxiety, I went to Uncle E’s…alone.  I had to text my friends back home because, as I told them, I was shaking like a “Virgin at a gang bang”.  I did talk to some people, I actually saw someone from South Bend.  They actually remembered me before I remembered them.   It was a little experiment for myself to see if I could get it together and not actually panic and leave. 

I find it funny how all day long I can talk to the most random people, listen to their stories, and give guidance (hopefully); yet at the same time have an issue with being alone in a Gay bar.  These are my people.  I should be in my element there, alas, I am not.

I know I have referred to it a couple of times, but, I think a major part of my anxiety is my own insecurities and the cannibalistic gay culture that we have.   I actually have been talking to some of the people I meet here about that.   Even someone who our culture would say is attractive has the same insecurities that I do.  Isn’t that funny?  I guess that just goes to show that sometimes, that social anxiety is in the eye of the beholder.  So I overcame that evening with great success!  I am very happy for myself because that is a step in the right direction. 

Anyway, I want to tell you about this dream I had last night.  In this dream I was driving drunk and hit and killed someone.  Who happened to be from Australia; for some reason I had to go to Australia after that.  I remember feeling this complete sense of guilt and dread.  It was the weirdest thing.  Right before I woke up, I was concerned about making sure that my driver’s license wasn’t going to be revoked.  Not that I might end up in jail, just that I had a driver’s license. 

Then things got really strange.  I was at a Speedway gas station, and I could see this person that I know about to get beat with a bat in the head.  So I charged the two people with my car and the guy started chasing my car.  Well, because of the Carwash I was trapped and then he started shooting. (Rude!)  All the while the employees of said Speedway didn’t even notice.  Then it turned into a scene from “Set It Off”, and Queen Latifah came round the corner and saved me. 

I don’t know what I did to get that dream?  I have not recollection of ever having a bad dream in my life; so this one goes down as the first.  I think the moral of the story is Don’t Drink and Drive to Australia, but if you save someone’s life at a Speedway, Queen Latifah will help you set it off. 

It is simply amazing what our subconscious will put together at night.  I can pick out some of the things out of that dream.  Like for instance, I have family who live in Australia and a friend of my date my cousin who moved here.  Well, I saw that friend last night, that explains that.  The whole bat thing comes from the controversy surrounding the Observer.  (See previous post) Finally, someone’s Facebook status was about “Set it Off” the other day; other then that I have no clue.   You got any insight?

Well that’s my 578 words  for today.  I hope you all have a good week, wish me luck….I start my job tomorrow.

XOXO,

Stupid Boi

Stupid Boi starts a new Adventure.

As we move into the New Year, I resolve to be more proactive in keeping my blog alive. I am also moving to a new city that will bring new and exciting things. So I want to drop you all a line and let you know, I haven’t forgotten about you. I have been updating the Project FIERCE blog and neglecting my own.

So Stupid Boi is off on a new adventure. Bloomington, Indiana. This is where I will start over. Hit the reset button if you will. I will plan on making 2010 a great year chalk full of things that are only in my imagination.

This year I will be going places. The Gay Man’s Health Summit is this year….I have to get into shape for that, cause it is in Florida. I have to have runway ready!

Well Hope the New Year finds you in good health, better company, and with new adventures.

XOXO,

Stupid Boi