Stupid Boi asks: "Does it really get better?"

On the eve of the Out of the Darkness walk here in Bloomington; I want to talk a little bit about suicide and bulling. 

Our children our killing themselves, because we as adults cannot understand how to live harmoniously.  In turn we teach our children to hate and spew this hate. Hate is a learned event!  This isn't something new!  If this was just a recent event, there wouldn't have to be organizations like the Trevor Project.  We need to remember that when we as adults hear children spewing this hate, it is our obligation to stop it. 

I take no issue correcting a child about hate speech!  I don't care if it changes their mind or even the parent's; I know that when I do, another child who feels helpless may find hope in that action. 

I want to also take a moment to talk about "It Gets Better".  I love this idea of spreading a message of hope.  That one day it will get better.  I have found so many friends and "family" that make my life complete.  However, yes there is a however, I had a friend in Iowa who committed suicide not because of childhood bulling; but because of the bulling he felt from his own community!

Brothers, we are bulling ourselves!  That dirty look you give in the bar because someone doesn't meet your standards of beauty or when someone says "hello" and you ignore their politeness.  That too is Bulling!  Not everyone in this world is attractive to everyone else, but I think it is important to know that there is a moment that someone could just be polite.  

I learned early that "Reading is fundamental"!  While I get that most of the time is should be in good fun, some of us take it too far.  Sometimes you just don't know where someone is in life.  Take a moment to get to know the person sitting next to you at the bar. Make a statement by making your group of friends the most accepting.

We are bullied by our own image of perfection. There are so many people in our community that are so interesting!  The other day, I meet someone who is much older than myself and learned that he used to be a dancer in Vegas and Europe.  We had so much in common (Musical Theatre love).  Had I allowed myself to be the person who I want to be, the bully; I would have never meet such an interesting person.

I urge you to take a stand against bulling, invite someone new to your table, you don't know what they may bring.  It is so important that we show these children that it Truly Gets Better!

Stupid Boi held Captive!

As some of you may know, I am in Chicago for training. I have to say that it is possible one of the better trainings I have been too. But, I am not talking about that.

I was in the elevator today and I look up and there is a small screen displaying different things; poems from 5th graders at local elementary schools, ads, little useless facts. (i.e. Did you know that the dye used to make things green is really toxic to the environment. So much for going Green, Huh!) I digress. I noticed that the company put a little saying across the bottom that says “you are watching captive network”.

So, you know I am not one of the great philosophers of our time…I mean I am no Margret Cho…but, I try. I thought about this on my way up the elevator. We are captive most of our lives. Yes, we have the freedom of thought, but how many of you actually think outside the box?

I run into a lot of problems with this. I do not believe that “Public Health Model” is in fact the most effective model. I think it falls into the category of what’s good for the gander is good for the goose. This is simply not true. I do understand that our hands are often tied by government, etc. This brings me back to my point! We are held captive by prevailing thought and not really evidence based rationale.

Even with the evidence based rationale, we are captive to show our numbers in the way they want us too. I would love to sit back and apply for a grant and be able to bring in the one person whose life was changed because of the work we did. That just wouldn’t work. WHY? Because we have to disseminate money to the people who are make the “Biggest” impact on the “Largest” group of people. (Utilitarianism in the most basic form)

Let us take for instance, Greenpeace and Mister Splashy Pants. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mister_Splashy_Pants) The whole story boils down to showing that one whale can change the lives of millions of other whales. Simply by personifying one creature Greenpeace created real social change in Japan.

One human can change the lives of millions by having a unique thought. Creating that thought is something we do all the time. It takes action to make that thought valuable in the eyes of the community. Someone, thought about the public health model, now it is widely accepted by most everyone in the U.S. and dare I say the world. (Except me) There is a model for everything.

Taking the HIV Crisis with the public health model, probably went a little something like this: (according to the Centers for Disease Control)

1)Define the Problem: Gays are dying, Junkies are dying…HIV Virus Discovered.
2)Identify risk and protective factors: Sex, Sharing Needles/ Abstain, use condoms, needle exchange.
3)Develop and Test prevention strategies: Create a test, create a rapid test, implement testing, and define effective behavioral interventions.
4)Assure widespread adoption: Condom use=safer sex, using clean needles=less risk of HIV transmission,
5)Create Policy: Make the schools teach Abstinence only education, create laws that make it illegal to carry needles….WAIT WHA?

Now, I know that this is a VERY OVER SIMPLIFIED VERSION of this model, and there are other great programs out there that DO make a difference. It is just an illustration of how we can become captive to a process. That captivity stops us from being…excuse the catch phrase…Innovative.

Innovation has to come at a price. It comes with the inability to truly be free, unless there is some private funding out there that is willing to give it a chance! (but even then you have to prove it works based on standards set by “society”) Something I learned today; sometimes it takes a captive audience to get your point across!

XOXO,
Stupid Boi

Stupid Boi in the Pitts!

I am Super EXCITED! I received a scholarship to the Microbicides Conference in May! It will be held in Pittsburgh, PA. I am really happy to get to go!

If you don’t know what that is:

http://www.microbicides2010.org/

http://www.global-campaign.org/

http://www.rectalmicrobicides.org/advocates.php (also in the side bar)


There is ton of information on these sites. Microbicides are a new intervention that is being test to see if it is effective against transmitting HIV. New, effective interventions mean that more people will have more options for protection. The more options the less transmission is the hope!

Even if you don’t care you should just be happy that I get to go and learn all of the new and exciting things going on in the world of HIV prevention.
YAY,

Stupid Boi

Stupid Boi: Mentally Ill or Just a little coo-coo?

Where do I begin? I am having a good change at the moment. However, the quitting smoking thing is getting a little rough! But I press on for my Health! Now that I have my physical health under way…I should start working on my other two health aspects…Spiritual and Psychological. I think I will leave spiritual to last cause that is gonna take some major renovation.

In 1999 my doctor told me after complaining about back pain… “You’re just depressed and the pain is psychosomatic”. So he put me on anti-depressants, and I went crazy! So I quit taking them because I don’t think I was the only one in the room that day with mental issues.

After ending a three year relationship, I began to feel really out of control of my worrying. I got nervous for nothing, etc. So I went to counselor. She told me well maybe you have anxiety. I went to my PCP and he gave me Lexapro…and Xanax to sleep. I never took the Xanax, but the Lexapro helped a little.

So that is where I am at…really at a crossroads of what is really going on in my brain? Some people tell me that I could have Adult ADD! I am going crazy just trying to figure out everything. What I do know is that being in the sun and taking walks helps me calm down. Writing this blog…helps me not be so fing crazy. I just wish that it was easier to diagnose mental illness. (BTW I hate that term)

I don’t know why I wrote this blog…it just came out of nowhere…maybe in the interest of full disclosure, maybe to garner some insight. Let me know what you have to say about this! Do you have mental illness and how do you deal? Or Am I just Crazy and that’s the way it is?

XOXO,
Stupid Boi