So, I have written a lot about “Those” people in the gay community. If you don’t know what I am talking about read the past blogs. I was thinking…what if it isn’t those people, what if it’s we the people? I am talking more in terms of dating. So I did some research online…not too academic of course…but I did find some interesting stuff.
There are a number of Social Workers, Life Coaches, etc. claiming to be the “Gay Messiah” when it comes to dating. Now I am not the type of person who will follow blindly, but some of the stuff they were saying was pretty typical. You need to have high self-esteem, be yourself…yada, yada.
Here I am trying to even get looked at and these people have all the answers! I have decided to do something crazy…follow blindly! I have taken some of the most interesting advice and paired it with some of the most common sense advice. For the next 60 days, starting March 1st, I will be running my own little experiment. You can check out my journal on
www.FlirtwithStupidBoi.blogspot.com. I have set up this little, none scientific, experiment to see what I have going on. I am going into this with an open mind…and to keep me open minded…I have enlisted some checks and balances. Here’s a little breakdown on my experiment.
Before March 1st:
I will conduct an anonymous survey to see what my friends think about my current state of affairs. To see this survey check here:
Click here to take survey
After I collect some of those results I will analyze them and post them for you all too see.
If you know me, Please take the survey and be honest…brutally honest!
The Rules of Engagement:
1) I will continue to maintain my social calendar for the duration of the experiment.
2) I will add one new social “Gay” related event every week.
3) I will not give out my number unless someone asks for it.
4) I will go out with whoever asks me out on a date. (No exceptions)
5) Cursing, one night stands, internet dates, and “hook-ups” are not permitted. Face to Face Contact.
6) I will keep a journal of every event, how many people approached me, how many people I approached, how many numbers I received, my feeling and attitudes if I go on a date, and age ranges and demographic information.
7) My “keepers” will report weekly on the progress.
8) My job or work related meeting do not count as “meetings”.
9) I will update my blog at least once a week.
Here are the behaviors I will change:
1) Solid self-esteem, exude confidence, and appear relaxed and self-assured: to do this I will in list the help of some anti-anxiety techniques, daily affirmations, and a complete overhaul of my perceived body image.
2) Show my sense of humor, and laugh…genuinely.
3) Work on my social skills: try not to dominate the conversation, and be more interested in what others have to say.
4) Read social cues: but not read into them!
5) Be assertive: create boundaries and cope with rejection in a positive self affirming way.
6) Do not use pick up lines: “Do you have a keg in your pack pocket…”
7) Read books on social psychology, mingling, communication, and flirting from the Gay perspective.
Outcomes:
1) Have a better understanding of how to flirt.
2) Improve social skills.
3) Actually have a date.
4) Fall in love and adopt Children from this year’s favorite adoption country… okay that is more long term but you know.
So that is the experiment! Wish me luck!
XOXO,
Stupid Boi
