So I recently had a conversation about “friendship” and the rules surrounding it. I think it is funny that there are these “unwritten” rules. So in an effort to save people time I have taken the time to write down my Top Ten rules. Feel Free to add any you would like!
1) A friend must attend all functions related to friendship…i.e. weddings, funerals, birthdays, Court appearances, etc. (Only acceptable excuse is death of a loved one or self!)
2) Friends must complement other friends on appearance at least once a week. Unless said appearance is not up to par with current group standards.
3) Friends must tell friends if they have stepped out of line. (i.e. Bitch are you having a BBQ cause your grill is fucked up!)
4) Every friend gets one good punch to be forgiven immediately. (So make it good and make it count) (Jimmy John’s Ham Sandwich Incident of 2002)
5) If said friend pisses you off, a three day waiting period must occur before discussion of violations. (Three Day Act of 2006)
6) Never jeopardize friends or friendships by acting in a way that would social embarrass or cause the arrest of another friend. (unless both parties are arrested, then it’s a good night)
7) All “Best Friends” must defend each other in the public eye, but may call you out in private. (Best Friend Act of 1767)
8) Any picture that will create revenue for a friend of someone famous is fair game, unless it causes irrevocable damage to said friends fame. (i.e. any picture of people in drag = Fair Game, and picture of people blowing FOX news anchors= bad news)
9) All groups of four must compare themselves to famous groups of four. (i.e. Golden Girls, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I’m Leonardo!)
10) All grouping must attempt to complete Human spectrum. (Our group is only one away!)
XOXO,
Stupid Boi
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